It’s my birthday! I’m closing out my 42nd year; the year that’s the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything (according to Douglas Adams, at least).

So here’s what I’ve taken away from my 42 years on this earth.

Disclaimer: This is where I’m going to take a moment to acknowledge the immense privilege I currently hold. I’m a well paid cisgender white woman in a hetero-passing marriage in a country that, while it has significant issues, still provides me a high level of comfort and low level of insecurity in my day to day life. I didn’t always have some of that privilege (how I grew up on Medicaid and was very close to being homeless if not for the people who are now my family is a story for another day), but even in my hardest times, I’ve benefitted from systems that hold others down. Not everyone will have the luxury to do all the things I talk about in this post.

This time last year, I had completed one novel and started one other (with some baby ideas coming together for a couple more). At some point, the idea of “What if F1 Romance and female driver?” entered my mind but that’s all it was. Then, in September, while watching the Azerbaijan Grand Prix, the story came to me almost fully formed. While watching the race coverage, I talked out ideas with my husband and he helped me build and adjust the story. I started getting the ideas down on paper that weekend.

A month later, while at a writing retreat in Alexandria VA, I picked up my first research book: How to Win a Grand Prix by Bernie Collins. I started learning everything I could about how F1 actually runs, about what life is like for tv presenters, for drivers, the history of women in F1.

My husband jokes that now I know more about the sport that he’s been following all his life and got me into than he does.

Nine months after putting words on pages, I’m deep in querying the novel, with some very positive responses so far. All because I let myself follow the plot bunny down the rabbit hole she led me through.

When I started learning about the pitching and querying process (for my first finished book), there were two big rules that were emphasized when it came to in-person pitching: 1) you should never pitch unfinished works and 2) you should always have your pitch memorized (no reading).

Shortly after I started writing what what then called “Untitled Sapphic F1” I attended the Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers annual conference. When I registered, I’d taken advantage of adding an in-person pitch to an agent during it. I’d totally forgotten about that until I picked up my registration packet and found an appointment card for pitching less than 24 hours later.

Oops.

I took a look at the agent’s profile. I had a finished work I could pitch, but I was already taking a step back from that to reevaluate if it was done or not. But she was looking for sports romances — LGBTQ preferred. Kismet. I talked to a few more experienced folks at the conference to see if my idea was totally crazy and they agreed that I had nothing to lose really.

So, the next day, at my appointment, I gave the agent the choice: did she want the memorized pitch for the finished work that wasn’t quite what she was looking for or did she want the pitch I would need to read for the unfinished work that fit better. She picked the latter. I gave her the pitch.

And she said to send her the full manuscript when it was done.

I broke the rules and it paid off with a full request before the manuscript was even done. Knowing that I already had one agent interested just based on the pitch and story of the book was a HUGE motivator in keeping me going and pushing through two drafts in less than nine months.

The other big factor in me speedrunning the writing of this book: community.

In the last year, I’ve found a critique group and as I was writing, I was submitting a couple chapters at a time through the group. The feedback on early chapters helped me reshape those quickly and also influenced how I was writing the future chapters.

I also attended conferences, made connections with fellow writers, joined Romance Writers of the Rockies (and even ran for office with them), building my community of writing friends even more.

It’s a lot sometimes, and time with my husband and friends sometimes took a hit. So, when I can, I try to step back from the writing stuff and spend time with them. I made time to see my besties in North Carolina, to meet up with local friends for coffee or dinner or shopping, to help out my family, to take a girls’ trip to Atlanta for Beyoncé, to go to LA and Seattle with my husband and reconnect with old friends and to sit on the couch and watch movies with him. I don’t know if I always get the balance right, but I try because all of these parts of my life are important.

Oh, and on top of all that, I changed roles, teams, managers in my job and my husband quit his and started a new one. We helped friends and family through rough times, supporting them and each other during all that.

It’s been a busy year.

When I can, I rest and rejuvenate. I have a lazy morning in bed with coffee, Chris, and a race or the radio on. I get outside and do some gardening or weeding when it’s not sweltering. I go get my nails done or a pedicure or a massage. I sit in my favorite chair and read. I play a video game. I turn my racing brain off for a minute and rest. I try to help my husband do the same.

So, yes, in these ways, my 42nd year on this earth did give me the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything. I can’t wait to see what year 43 brings 😀